


Lean On Me

by urrhaven



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Claustrophobia, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:29:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urrhaven/pseuds/urrhaven
Summary: Jungwon expected today to be a pretty rough day the moment Niki bailed out on him at the last minute. But he didn't expect it to this rough.or;Heesung helps Jungwon through a panic attack.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Yang Jungwon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	Lean On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Happy Heart's Day my lovelies💞 I hope all of you had a great day today and if not I hope this would somehow distract you from it even for just a few minutes. Anyways this is again pretty raw and came out of nowhere as most of my drabbles lmao. I hope you enjoy it though even if it's a little all over the place, I really just wanted to drop a little something for all of you since my upcoming fics are still in the making. 
> 
> Trigger Warning: This includes descriptions of a panic attack, I'm only writing from my personal experience by the way and every case is a little different so please don't treat these as facts they're all for fiction purposes only. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated, lovelots everyone💞
> 
> Enjoy~

Jungwon expected today to be a pretty rough day the moment Niki bailed out on him at the last minute. But he didn't expect it to this rough. 

He was supposed to go with the younger to Jay's condo for a small gathering. It is Valentine's Day after all and despite the pandemic, the elder wanted to celebrate it with a small get together especially since all of them are quote unquote "painfully single". To be very honest Jungwon doesn't give a flying fuck about this certain occasion really, but he was also starting to get eaten alive by his loneliness at home and getting out of the house even for once a month sounded like a good idea to him. So he accepted the elder's suggestion even shocking Jay a little because he knew Jungwon was never one for gatherings like this, but of course the elder took this sudden change of heart in stride and reminded the younger everyday for the last two weeks that he has to make sure he can make it to Jay's small Valentine's celebration. 

But there's one teeny tiny problem. 

No he's lying, it's actually a gigantic problem for him especially now that he has no one accompany him to the elder's place. 

Jungwon gets really really anxious in public. 

And going to Jay's alone means sitting at the very back of the bus with his earphones plugged and pretending that all these other passengers doesn't exist, going to Jay's alone means he has to talk to the cab driver to take him to the apartment building after he got down at the bus top, it means having to endure people's stares on the street without Niki's loud voice to distract him from the dread building up in his gut. Going to Jay's alone means having to use the elevator to go up because the elder lives on the 20th floor and it's just unpractical to take the stairs this time, it means getting stuck in a closed off space strangers looking at him weirdly as he tries to practically melt into one corner for what would feel like years when it's only really a few minutes. 

Jungwon fiercely shakes off the thoughts and splashed water onto his face, tensed shoulders and laboured breaths relaxing as the ice cold water hit his skin—ah, this feels nice, he really wished he could just stay home today and continue dunking his face in his ice basin but then he knew deep down that he can't do that. 

He doesn't want to disappoint Jay, the elder has been practically bouncing with excitement the moment he accepted his invitation. He also knew he needed this for himself. 

"You got this Yang Jungwon, you can survive the trip to Jay hyung's place and then you can finally play with him and Sunghoon hyung and Jake hyung too. You will have a great time!" He feels silly taking to his reflection in the mirror but it gave him a little more courage nonetheless. 

Jungwon took one last deep breathing exercise before he grabbed his towel on the sink and entered his shower. 

\---------

He almost thought everything would go on without a hitch until he was approaching the elevator to his hyung's floor. 

Jungwon's steps faltered as he stared at the figure standing inside the elevator. He was tall and broad shouldered, the flannel he was wearing was a little oversized and covered half of both his palms, one firmly holding what could only be a plastic bag filled with chips and liters of soda, the other one clasping on his phone as he scrolled. He Jungwon's heart beat picks up on his chest, hands starting to get clammy, why didn't he expect the elder to be here? He was Jay's childhood friend, of course he's invited. 

The elder must have sensed his presence approaching and he looks up from his phone. Almost instantly recognition dawns him and he beamed a smile Jungwon's way, quickly holding an arm out to stop the elevator from closing to let the younger in. 

"Nice seeing you here Jungwonie," It was just a stupid nickname, but Jungwon fights the blush creeping up his cheeks. 

"You too, Heesung hyung." He dips his head in a quick bow before settling on his side on the far left corner of the elevator. He hopes the elder didn't take his action in a negative way, he really needed his space right now. 

He tries to steady his breathing and keep his eyes on the ground, if he looked around and see just how little space they have here and how easily he could get crushed inside this metal box or how it could get stuck any moment now and he might never be out of here alive— 

Jungwon flinches at the hand that reached out gently to hold his own, his looks up to his see a flash of hurt on Heesung's eyes. "Hyung I—I'm sorry.. it's just." 

Heesung shakes his head, he withdraws his hand and avoided eye contact while rubbing his nape. "I just noticed you were having a really hard time to ground yourself right there." 

Jungwon doesn't know if he should cry in embarrassment or guilt. Was he that obvious? Did everyone he encountered on the way here read him this clearly too? 

"I'm sorry I didn't want to creep you out like that but you look so pale right now Jungwon ah." Now the elder's eyes are back at him again, focused on looking for signs of discomfort on his face. 

Jungwon decided that he should atleast tell the elder why he was being like this, he made him worry he deserved to know as much. 

He meets the elder's gaze for a few seconds before returning his eyes on the ground, "I'm a little claustrophobic hyung." 

He doubted Heesung even needed that confirmation when the elder must have probably picked up everything from his behaviour.

"Jungwon ah, look at me please?" Heesung's voice was so calming, so easy to listen to. He's really using his voice major powers on Jungwon right now. 

It's effective, Jungwon looks at him. He was ready for the pity from the elder, or just that weirded out look people often gave him, but what he saw in Heesung's when he looks at him fucks a little with Jungwon's mind. 

There was not a single hint of pity, but in its place was an intense sincerity that someone could only ever give when they completely understood your situation. "I'm gonna hold your hand for the rest of the ride up, okay? It's gonna be over soon." 

Jungwon doesn't even know how to answer that, this isn't the reaction he expected. Usually people just leaves him alone and stays away from him clueless of what to do when he tells them his situation. He was completely out of words. 

They stood like that for a few seconds then he remembered that Heesung was actually waiting for his confirmation. Jungwon feels the proverbial butterflies in his stomach and mentally slaps himself. Good gracious, now is not the fucking time! He closed his eyes and took a deep breath desperately trying to shake those thoughts away. "O-okay hyung..." 

Being claustrophobic inside an elevator is one thing, but being a claustrophobic with your crush inside an elevator about to have a panic attack and then your crush offered to hold your hand for the rest of the ride is a whole different thing. 

He looks up at the numbers flashing above the door with Heesung on his side firmly holding his hands, it's already the 17th floor, just a few more and this would all be over. 

He was so relieved he can finally get out of this suffocating place until the lights went out and the elevator stops moving. 

Jungwon stood frozen on his spot, his mind clouded with hazy thoughts, everything feels overwhelming. It's too dark he can't see a thing and he feels like he's drowning, breaths laboured and heavy as he try to get more air in. He strains to open his eyes or hear anything, but it was hard. His biggest fear was here. 

Everything can happen, an earthquake could shake them right now like little pieces of TicTac in its container. He would never be able to leave this place, he would die in this dark, suffocating metal box and he will never— 

"Jungwon-ah, do you hear me?" 

Suddenly he was on the ground, his legs has failed him apparently and that voice...

Heesung. Right, he was with him. How can Jungwon forget? He was holding his hand the whole time, how can he fucking forget? 

He wanted to answer, wanted to say yes with his own tongue but he can't seem to open his mouth, he tried to nod but he can't move his head. Jungwon is starting to get really really frustrated, just how weak can he get? Tears started streaming down his face, Heesung eyes widens at this for a second but settles back into a serious look. He held Jungwon's face with so much care as if he was porcelain, "Jungwon-ah, I need you to blink twice if you can hear me. You can do that right? You're strong, Jungwon-ah I believe you." 

Jungwon wants to bawl his eyes out, he wants to just pull the elder into a hug but he can't even do it, his mind is still field with disturbing thoughts, flashing different worst possible scenarios for this and he hates it. He hates this, everything that's making him feel totally helpless right now he hates it. 

He gathers what seems to be the last of his strength and blinked twice, he did it but not without feeling a little light headed. 

He can tell that Heesung was only trying to keep the tough act for him, he feels the elder's trembling hand supporting his back so he isn't completely laying down the floor. He wanted to tell the elder that he was fine, that he didn't have to worry so much but he knew even he didn't believe his words so why would Heesung? 

"Now I need you to breathe with me, alright Jungwon-ah? I know you can do it, just follow my lead okay?" 

Jungwon blinks his twice, trying so hard to stay awake. Heesung started the breathing exercise, breathe in for 5, hold for 5 and release for 5. If he says it like that it sounds so easy, but in real life it isn't.

Every second feels like an eternity. It's agonizingly slow— like watching a clip in the lowest speed setting. It's infuriating, he wanted to get up and bang his way out of this cage but can when he can't even breathe properly. 

The only thing that's keeping Jungwon sane is Heesung's soothing voice breathing comforting words into his ears along with "You're doing so well right now Jungwon-ah just breathe with me, that's it you're doing good." The beacon of hope he needed in this dark abyss. 

Jungwon doesn't know how much time has passed since the power has gone out or how long was he catching his breathe but the moment his breathing stabilises, exhaustion settles deep down his bones. Like he just arrived at the finish line of a marathon and now he can finally, finally rest. 

Heesung opens up his phone's flashlight that he forgot to use earlier when Jungwon collapsed. The younger lays quietly in his arms, his breathing is back to normal now thank goodness. He looked so burned out and lifeless that Heesung worries still. Jungwon is also still refusing to look around him and had his gaze fixated on one thing only. 

Now though it wasn't the ground. 

It was Heesung's face. 

He would be lying if he says he isn't affected by this because Jungwon is the prettiest human being he's ever met, of course he's affected. But he doesn't want to think of that right now, they're fucking stuck inside a goddamn elevator for Pete's sake. 'Get your priorities straight, Heesung!' he tells himself. 

"Hyung?" Heesung's about to give himself a whiplash with how quickly he looked at Jungwon in his arms. 

Heesung readjusts the younger, bringing him to properly sit on his lap instead of just his back resting on the elder's thighs. Jungwon startles a little at the sudden action but he easily melts into Heesung's arms either due to weariness or...

No, Heesung tells himself. Jungwon is just tired right now, this means nothing. 

"Can you stay with me? When I wake up, will you promise me that you'll be there?" Jungwon meets his gaze this time, stripped of all the hesitance and apprehension he had earlier.

Heesung doesn't even miss a beat. "Of course, I'll hold you until you wake up Jungwon-ah. I promise." 

Then, for the first time today, Jungwon smiles. Not the tight lipped one he shows when he's uncomfortable or even a little pissed ant not the sheepish one he shows when he's shy. Just a smile, a simple stretch of his lips that reduces his eyes into slits and leaves a warm feeling in Heesung's chest. 

Today was the first time he sees it up close as opposed to whenever they're at school when he's just stealing glances at the younger from across the cafeteria, content with looking at him from a far. 

Heesung doesn't think he could continue that way now. "When you wake up, maybe I can take you out for dinner, yeah?" 

"Really hyung?" Jungwon is still smiling but Heesung knows the younger is barely keeping himself awake. 

"Yes, now get some rest Jungwon-ah." 

The younger burries his face on Heesung's neck and was out like the light, the elder rubs soothing circles in his back. 

A few minutes after that Heesung checks his phone and finds tons of miscalls and messages from Jay, the last saying they will have them out in half an hour. Heesung finally lets out the breath he doesn't even know he's holding. 

••••••

"They're too cute, oh my god Jay hyung how on earth are we not aware of this?" Jungwon had his eyes close, since he was just waking up, but for sure that was Sunoo, the cooing gave it out.

"I should have went with him hyung, this wouldn't have happened." He hears sniffles, the heavy Japanese accent is enough clue, but why on earth was Niki crying? Jungwon tries to listen more into the conversation, not getting up just yet. Also, he feels oddly cozy right now. Almost like a he was engulfed in a blanket of warmth. Truth be told, he could stay here the whole day. 

"Niki, literally no one is blaming you. Jungwonie's fine now, stop crying already. You guys are gonna wake them up." That's Jay, the nagging was a very distinctive quality. 

Wait, Jay hyung? 

Jungwon vaguely recalls everything. Right, the Valentine's celebration. He survived taking the transpo alone and was doing fine until...

The elevator. Heesung. The promise. 

Jungwon tenses as he realised who's causing the comforting warmth around him. 

"I know you're awake now Won-ah." Heesung tightens his arms around his body like his afraid Jungwon would escape if he didn't. 

Really, it's a little obnoxious, why would Jungwon ever want to leave?

Jungwon slowly opens his eyes to Heesung's bright smile. It's too contagious Jungwon can't help but beam at him too. 

"You fulfilled your promise." He reached out to touch the elder's cheeks, Heesung holds his hand and and kisses his palm. 

"Of course, I did." Jungwon tries not to blush but fails miserably and instead hides his face on the elder's chest. Heesung's chuckle fills the room. 

Jungwon can't even pretend to get mad at him. This man right here, just got him through one of the worst days of his life. He couldn't have gotten out alive from that damn elevator if he wasn't there. 

"You were saying something about taking me out for dinner?" Jungwon doesn't even know where all this sudden bravery is coming from, but he took it and ran away with it. 

For now they still have so much to talk about, like why on earth didn't any of them say anything whenever they pass by each other on the hallways, or why they always had to turn away after each eye contact during lectures, or why they never tried to get each other's numbers. There's so much question on Jungwon's mind right now just waiting to be freed and with the look on Heesung's eyes, he knew he had his fair share of questions too. 

"I'll take you out after we talk." Heesung runs a hand on Jungwon's hair, the younger's eyes automatically closing at the elder's ministrations. 

"I'll hold you to that, Heesungie hyung."


End file.
